Teaching Brats & Babes
by TheNewGuy38
Summary: Hogwarts is known for many things, one of which is the constant, sometimes lethal, rotation of Defense professors. And, it seems, that there is some form of political drama about it in 1995. Maybe I could take a shot at it, see what's so interesting about this old Scottish castle. OC POV, WIP, possibly Mentor!OC, and possibly OP. It'll come to life on its own, mostly.


Disclaimer: Absolutely anything that looks like something someone else made, owns, and holds rights to, is something someone other than me owns. Most of it will be J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter, but other may come. All I lay claim to is the Original Character, who happens to be the main protagonist.

/

Hogwarts was, most assuredly, one of the most well-known schools in the world of magic. It was certainly the oldest still standing, being over 1500 years old. That said, the number of problems Hogwarts had, while not infamous, was certainly mentioned by alumni. One thing known the world over, was that it went through professors like nothing else. In particular: Defense professors. For nearly 50 years, without fail, whoever taught that subject was either maimed, crippled, killed, dead, or part of some sort of scandal by the end of the year that resulted in them being completely unable to teach for a consecutive fall term.

To hear the kids talk about it, the position was cursed by the local dark lord at the time. Why? No-one _really_ knows, but common consensus is that he tried to apply for the post and was rejected. Dozens of leading experts in warding fields had tried to get rid of it, to no success.

Personally, I took that as a _challenge_.

And, if some hushed whispers about the situation were to be believed, the Headmaster was getting a little _desperate_ to fill the position this year due to some sort of politicking.

I think I should pay him a visit, see if there's anything I can do to…

Help things along, eh?

/

I took a deep breath of the sharp Scottish air. I so _loved_ the highlands this time of year! That early fall sharpness, _crispness_ in the air was always exhilarating and rejuvenating.

That might be the desert talking though, always so hot and arid and _dry_ back home.

I approached the gates, glancing at the stone hogs on the dull brick pillars said gates were anchored to. (And, on a tangent, who the _hell_ , in their right mind, would name a school _Hogwarts_ , of all things? It's not very _flattering_ , is it? Why would anyone say, 'O, gee, I'd just love to go to a school named after something so grand as _piggy pimples_?' Seriously…) I hadn't written ahead, exactly, but I could keep myself entertained if the illustrious Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (his parents must have _hated_ him, poor guy) was busy with a meeting or some such. Besides, he'll likely know the second I'm here.

I put a hand to the gates and let my sixth (seventh? Eighth? I didn't bother keeping track, honestly. Some crazy guys down at Princeton were cataloguing all the senses a being could have, they were up to… 76(?) last I checked), _magical_ sense, my Aura, my… Feelings? Whatever that thing was, reach out and interact with the wards. And _WOW that's BRIGHT!_

Hogwarts's wards were another thing it was well known for, being boasted to be better than Britain's own _government_. And now, I could totally see why: dozens upon dozens, maybe even _hundreds_ of _individual ward schemes_ were braided, plaited, woven, and stitched together for a good… What, 30 meters in, past the gates? Granted, not all of them were meant for protection, but merely being able to sustain so many meant that, if needed, power could be redirected to those meant to defend, making this school about as permeable as Amerium, the nickname I gave the vibranium-adamantuim alloy Captain America's shield was made of. Oh, and did I mention, that thing had taken hits from _GODS_ without a scratch. Granted, it was fictional but… eh, you get the point.

After allowing the wards to wash over me and discern my intent, I gave my name to the open air for the ward registry, and began the trek down the packed dirt path to the main doors of the fortress school. I took a moment to observe the lush green grass to either side of me, the glistening lake in the afternoon sun, and the vibrant forest in the distance. It was a wonderful sight, and very calming to take in such a peaceful scene. Why, the last time I saw anything near to this was on that Convergence over in Sweden-

I paused, a thought occurring to me. It would certainly explain things, wouldn't it? I reached out again, this time focusing and directing my Power downward, into the Earth. Eyes closed, I saw the mass of magic far, far below me as the extended tendril made contact: not just two, or three, but _four_ ley lines Converged here. Not all in the same spot, but close enough to not matter all that much. I let out an impressed whistle. "Damn," I told the empty air. If there was a site to build on, this was the one for sure. What a Great Druid could have done with this, way back when… They'd be invincible, or as close as anyone could ever be. I chuckled suddenly. Man, the things _Steve_ could do here. Maybe I could invite him over for a spar sometime? Been awhile since I went toe to toe with a dimensionalist.

I went on to the doors and gave them a good shove. While they were lighter than they really had any right to be, they were still pretty heavy (I'd almost say they were two slabs of 30ft high, 3 feet thick of solid _steel_ , actually. With weight reduction charms). I slipped through the gap and didn't bother to close it.

And promptly stopped, wide eyed at the, frankly, _ridiculously huge_ Entry Hall. Seriously, I would have to fly up a good 40, maybe 50 feet to touch the ceiling. I mean, considering that this was meant to be more a fortress than school, it _kinda_ made sense, but still. Wow. I shook my head. _Get a grip, man, what are you, twelve? Not your first castle, either, so quit lollygagging._ I chuckled at myself. _What was that supposed to be, a drill sergeant?_

I made my way up the too-big staircase and into the central pillar of various… _floating…?_ Other staircases, before I realized I may have a problem:

 _Where, exactly, does one find the Headmaster?_ I asked myself internally.

 _In his office, of course,_ one of the caricatures in my head (this one of a knowledgeable, kindly college professor) answered me.

 _Okay… Now where is_ that?

Am I crazy? Just a little. Do I care? Not even slightly. Takes a lot of effort to be this weird, thank you.

/

After spending about… oh, an hour or so playing on the staircases and trying to simply guess my way there, I gave up and asked one of the hundreds of animated portraits for help. Turns out, I was just around the corner. It was interesting to note that the office had a gargoyle statue as a marker/guardian for it. Only office in the whole place with that setup, actually. But, it was likely that was where the old ward room was, so of course it would be unique. Wouldn't be too shocked if it was an actually bound gargoyle instead of a statue, come to think of it.

That was, somewhat sadly, not the case, merely being a rather heavily enchanted statue. Not exactly a _disappointment_ , per se, just… Woulda been cool. Addressing the gargoyle, I said clearly: "Potential Defense professor, here to see the headmaster. Is he in?" The statue completely failed to respond. At least, verbally, since it did _leap_ to the side after a few semi-awkward moments of silent waiting. I took that as a "Yes, please come in," and did just that. I didn't bother to knock, since he knew I was there anyway, and just opened the door a sliver to peek in.

It seemed the Headmaster had indeed been in something of a meeting, but judging by an ever-so-faint look of gratitude on his face, one I was saving him from. The woman in pink (wasn't that a Sherlock Holmes case?) looked annoyed at the interruption, but was trying (and utterly failing) to hide it behind a rather sickeningly sweet smile… or grimace, it was hard to tell. Deciding to ignore her for the moment, I spoke: "Ah, hi, sorry to interrupt, but I heard you had a position vacant? The Defense teacher, specifically?"

The pink lady took a breath to speak, but the Headmaster (maybe I should call him Albus?) beat her to it, ushering me in: "No, no, please come in, have a seat! Pleased to meet you, lemon drop?" All this was said in a rush, even as he pulled his wand from…somewhere… and conjured a cushioned chair for me while he gestured to a candy bowl near his off hand. I got the hint: _Please, for the love of god, GET IN HERE and GET ME OUT OF THIS_. I quickly took the seat and a treat (heh, rhymes), with a cordial, "Of course, of course! I rather like them, do you?"

"Oh yes, nothing quite like them really, in fact, I found one store in Cardiff— "

"Hem, hem," the pink women suddenly interrupted, rather obnoxiously. I immediately _hated_ that noise, I had never heard something so hideously sweet and fake and disgusting at the same time. It was leagues worse than sharpened nails on a wet chalkboard, it was so disquieting.

"Yes, Madam Umbridge?" Albus (Yes, that's _much_ better) queried, the very visage of politeness.

"I rather believe it to be a bit late to be accepting new professors, Headmaster, with only a week left until the start of term, don't you?" Again, with that nauseous smile, I am not liking her _at all_.

"Nonsense, I am sure he'd be up for it, wouldn't you, Mr.…?" he replied, turning to me searchingly. I had originally intended for it to something of an icebreaker, and a chance to see if he had ever been informed of the likeness but…

I cleared my throat in a subtle display a bashfulness before I said, "Gandalf, Gandalf Grey."

He suddenly grinned, lighting up in joy and amusement and… God, were his eyes _literally twinkling?_ "Oh, _Gandalf!_ I had no idea such a prestigious wizard would be coming, I would have cleaned up a bit!" as he gestured around him. Even as I cottoned on to his little joke, I noticed for the first time all the _dozens_ of things that could really only be described as _gadgets_ and _gizmos_ arrayed throughout the office. I viciously repressed the urge to get up and fiddle with one, and made a suitable response to our little play.

"Oh, no, please, no need to make a fuss! I just got done with sorting out that mess in Gondor, and decided to take a break from it all before wading into the fray again. The position _is_ still available, yes?"

"Actually—, " Umbridge started, before Albus ran over her:

"But _of course,_ it is! Why, I do believe most of the children would be delighted to learn from such an outstanding figure! Pay can be discussed later, if you would just sign here…" he hurried pulling a quill and a parchment from… somewhere once again, holding them out to me.

I didn't _quite_ snatch them, but I did quickly take them, taking pity on him with how desperate he was acting. I began quickly glancing over the contract to see if anything particularly tricky stood out as Umbridge piped up again.

"Now, see here, Mr. Dumbledore," she began, sounding very brassed off for some reason, "you cannot just— "

"Ah, but it is the headmaster who makes the final decision on placements, and the recent regulation clearly states that intervention would only occur should a replacement not be found by the start of term, Madam Umbridge," he retorted, sounding faintly smug, as if he had just one a rather lengthy argument. Which, I suspected, he had.

"But Headmaster," she said in that sickly patronizing tone, "Do you really expect anyone to be foolish enough to— "

"Here you are Albus, seems to be in order," I interjected, handing him the now signed employment contract. Heh, that _is_ rather fun, actually.

"But—b-but…" Umbridge was rather shocked I would be so brazen, it seemed.

"Well, I believe that rather handily concludes our previous discussion Miss Umbridge. Please, feel free to go." Albus was smiling genially. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was gloating. Umbridge sputtered for a moment more, then contorted her face into the ugliest glare with a sneer I had ever seen.

"This, is _not_ over, Dumbledore, mark my words!" With that, she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Both Albus and I let out a long sigh of relief. Simultaneously, as a matter of fact. We shared a wry grin before I said, "Well… She was pleasant."

He chuckled, "Yes, she rather is, isn't she? I thank you for that timely arrival, by the way."

I waved it off, "Not a problem, glad to help. So, to business?" He nodded, and we got to it.


End file.
